Archive for Geller

The Stealth Halal Jihadist Turkey: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Muslim Trojan Horse

Posted in Feature, Loon Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2011 by loonwatch

Guest Article by: Wajahat Ali 

American Muslim communities celebrating Thanksgiving with a traditional Turkey feast represents an encouraging sign of integration with American values and rituals.

But, of course, we Muslims fooled you.

Yet again.

You should have known that our baked, brined, and deep-fried masala turkeys were simply veiling our nefarious, anti-American plots to replace McDonald’s arches with minarets and convert the White House to the United Colors of Benetton House.

Pam Geller, our anti-Muslim Paul Revere

However, not all patriotic Americans were gullible and naïve! Nay, some America-holic crusaders, like bloggers Pam Geller and her fearless co-horts, called out our “stealth jihadist turkey plot!” Like modern-day Paul Reveres, they blogged, tweeted and mass mailed our ingenious plot “to submit unassuming Americans to Islam by feeding them halal Turkey” this holiday season. (Halal meat is slaughtered according to Islamic custom, similar to Jewish Kosher laws.)

Our nation’s Cassandra, Pam Geller – the preeminent anti-Muslim blogger and conspiracy theorist aficionado –  believes President Obama is a Muslim, illegitimate son of Malcolm X who once went to Pakistan for drugs and jihad. She also uncovered Arabic is not just a language, but actually a spearhead for anti-Americanism. Thanks to her, we discovered radical Islam has infiltrated our government, which is secretly being run by Islamic supremacists. She also accused Muslims of engaging in stealth cultural jihad by wearing their headscarves at Disneyland.

Truth be told, we’ve already converted Goofy. Donald Duck was always our Manchurian candidate. Mickey was the first to turn Benedict Arnold.  As for Porky Pig, he better watch out; we’re coming for him next…with our scimitars.

Damn you, Pamela Geller, your anti-Muslim, detective nose is too evolved and sophisticated in sniffing out our dastardly plots!

I guess the feathered, red wattled bird is out of the proverbial bag. There’s no reason to hide the secret any longer.

It’s true. The turkey is our new Trojan Horse.

After spending decades learning to cook and enjoy the famously-dry turkey, we Muslims decided to use the bird to launch our turkey jihad after successfully conquering it in our respective kitchens.  We’ve evolved from creeping sharia into states to creeping cholesterol and obesity into American diets. After taking over all the street meat vendors in New York, the Islamization of the turkey bird was inevitable.

Turkey: The Greatest Weapon of Mass Distraction

The Turkey is our greatest weapon of distraction. Even more so than hummus, biryani, shwarmas, kebobs, naans, and Lupe Fiasco.

The fatty bird’s high levels of tryptophan act like a paralyzing agent, causing intense drowsiness and lethargy when Americans overeat on Thanksgiving Day. The ensuing food coma paves the way for The Muslim Agenda to stealthily accomplish its ambitious goal of radically transforming America into a radical Caliphate guided by Sharia law.

Pam Geller, the 21st century’s Velma, uncovers The Great Halal Turkey Conspiracy:

Across this great country, on Thanksgiving tables nationwide, infidel Americans are unwittingly going to be serving halal turkeys to their families this Thursday. Turkeys that are halal certified… [this] is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness, neither of which are allowed for under that same Islamic law.

Blast her foresight and remarkable sleuthing skills!

In this land of religious freedom, tolerance and pluralism, it is utterly unacceptable – downright un-American, I say – to allow a diversity of slaughtering options for mass consumers! And allowing Turkeys to be slaughtered according to a religious custom similar to Jewish Kosher laws? Shudder the thought!

Indeed, it is more patriotic to consume a steroid-pumped, undernourished, traumatized turkey hurled onto a mechanical conveyor belt – along with thousands of its gobbling brethren – awaiting its rapture under the guillotine of economic efficiency and other profit-maximizing instruments of death.

That, my friends, is truly the American way!

Muslims, we’re like the Green Bay Packers

But, even American superheroes like Pamela Geller can’t stop our momentum. Muslims are like the current Green Bay Packers of fifth-column, culinary stealth jihadists– we’re on a hot streak!

First, we infiltrated America by creating a hot, Lebanese American beauty pageant named Rima Fakih who won Miss USA and stole the tiara from the infidels. Then, we installed a biracial man with Kenyan roots in the Oval Office, who happens to be a practicing Christian that celebrates Easter, accepts Christ as his savior, and has yet to step foot in a mosque during his three years as President. Moreover, he drinks alcohol and publicly eats bacon. Indeed, the hallmark traits of a Muslim President.

Most recently, we have invaded mainstream American television sets with our very own reality TV show, TLC’s All American Muslim. Move over Kim, Paris and Snookie, Arab-American Muslim Shadia is creeping to take over your botox and photoshopped US Weekly covers. According to Pamela Geller’s Justice League of Islamophobes, TLC’s real intention in creating the show is to force “submission to Islam through the hijab.” (Our clandestine plots foiled yet again!)

Halal Turkey Victory: The Icing on the Cake

But this latest victory is the icing on the cake, or I should say, the honey on the kanafeh. Ha!

Who was our mighty warrior leading us to victory, you ask? Our Alexander? Our Achilles? Our Obama? Our Aaron Rogers? The Trojan horse of our stealth victory was none other than the Thanksgiving turkey.

In fact, we’ve been so successful at integrating, we’ve inspired the mega corporation Butterball to become our preeminent stealth jihadist and unleash stealth halal turkeys on unsuspecting Americans and citizens abroad.

After all, what’s more anti-American than introducing a uniquely American bird, Turkey, to new global consumer markets thereby promoting American products, advertising brand names, and stimulating the national economy? That’s downright Communistic!

But, even this is too much for Geller, who is asking for Butterball to be held accountable for allegedly serving Americans unlabeled halal meat. She has created the “Boycott Butterball Turkey” Facebook page.

Even fellow American Muslims are upset! All this time they could’ve purchased turkey at affordable prices from their local supermarkets instead of shelling out extra money for halal-certified birds from their community butchers! How come no one told the rest of them about Butterball’s ingenious stealth halal turkey jihadist plan?

(We have to keep them in the dark. We can’t afford to activate all of our of culinary stealth jihadists at once. Most of them have to live as if they are actually moderate, peaceful, loyal, normal Americans going about their day to day lives dealing with real problems and concerns that are shared by their neighbors, friends and co-workers. Lateral thinking.)

The Muslim Agenda Fortune Cookie

If you’re lucky, you’ll find The Protocols of the Elders of Mecca (or, “The Muslim Agenda”) stuffed in your Butterball turkey this holiday season. It outlines the plans for our next American cultural takeovers.  If you look closely, deep inside your Butterball turkeys, there will be leaked cell phone photos of a circumcised Easter Bunny praying towards Mecca right before he hands out Kosher eggs and crescent-shaped chocolates to kids from his Easter basket, which we imported from China.

Apparently he’s also developed an insatiable sexual urge for white female rabbits and has started his own “Hare’s Harem.” Rumor has it he’s been fasting during Ramadan and partying like it was Mardi Gras during Lent.

And, wait until you see what we have in store for Christmas! Red-nosed camels and a Santa Claus named Abu Qhlaws: a hairy, overweight Moroccan man with a bushy beard giving chicken tagine to school kids in the malls.

There’s a rumor that American Muslim families will be giving snickers and tandoori chicken pieces for Halloween. Trick or Treat?

We’ve successfully brainwashed the Tooth Fairy as well. She now wears a burqa and was forced to marry Imam Rumpelstiltskin (Come on, that wasn’t a shocker, right?).  Instead of replacing children’s teeth with coins, she now places small Qurans published in Saudi Arabia under their bedroom pillows. She also sprinkles fairy dust on the children, consisting of turmeric and zaatar.

The battle of the absurd, paranoid, and demented is thankfully yearlong and not contained to seasonal limitations. This Thanksgiving, however, please do enjoy your Turkey, whether it be kosher, halal, vegan, vegetarian, American or even foreign.

To appease Pamela Geller and company, just please make sure your dead, cooked bird is tasty, America-holic and not a radical, stealth agent of jihad.  Just to be safe, stab the bird a few times Pulp Fiction-style with the baster. Because, after all, you can never really know and you can never really be too sure.

Wajahat Ali is a playwright, attorney, journalist and humorist.  He blogs at Goatmilk and is the author of the award-winning Domestic Crusaders.  He will be basting his halal turkey in America-holic juices this Thanksgiving.

Is your Thanksgiving Turkey a Muslim? Anti-Islam Blogger Warns of ‘Stealth Halal Turkeys’

Posted in Loon Politics, Loon Sites with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2011 by loonwatch
How well do you know your turkey?How well do you know your turkey?

Is your Thanksgiving turkey a Muslim? Anti-Islam blogger warns of ‘stealth halal turkeys’

by 

Anti-Islam blogger Pamela Geller is warning Americans to be on the lookout for “stealth halal turkeys” this Thanksgiving.

It may be dead – and poultry – but that won’t stop your Thanksgiving turkey playing its part in jihad.

At least, that’s what rightwing blogger and anti-Islam paranoiac Pamela Geller thinks.

Geller decided to incite some festive hate with this post on Monday, in which she repeats her accusations that the US meat industry does not separate halal from non-halal meat, and accuses popular turkey supplier Butterball of sneaking birds prepared according to Muslim requirements onto non-Muslim tables.

Geller claims halal slaughter methods are “torturous and painful” for the turkeys, and an assault on everyone else’s freedom to have them killed in whichever way they choose:

“Across this great country, on Thanksgiving tables nationwide, infidel Americans are unwittingly going to be serving halal turkeys to their families this Thursday. Turkeys that are halal certified — who wants that, especially on a day on which we are giving thanks to G-d [sic] for our freedom? I wouldn’t knowingly buy a halal turkey — would you? Halal turkey, slaughtered according to the rules of Islamic law, is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness, neither of which are allowed for under that same Islamic law.”

Geller is calling on those who agree with her to boycott Butterball’s “stealth halal turkeys” and write to the company to register their disapproval.

Those who don’t have been responding to Geller’s arguments in the comments section of her website.

Her readers’ ripostes range from the factual – ‘Gothelittle’ points out the similarity of halal slaughter methods to kosher ones, and the arguable benefits of both compared to non-religious mass meat production – to the pragmatic, courtesy of ‘JonathanMurray’:

“If someone was actually concerned about this silliness, they’d need to know *before* it was time to start thawing that frozen bird. Four days in the fridge… today is three days before Thanksgiving. Dumb.”

Meanwhile, Adam Serwer of Mother Jones points out that if all Butterball turkeys are indeed certified halal, it’s presumably because meat sellers are responding to market demand:

You might even be tempted to observe that Muslim Americans marking a secular, American holiday celebrating pluralism and freedom from religious persecution might be a sign of the extent to which American Muslims have assimilated into American culture. What you didn’t know was that when markets respond to the demands of Muslim consumers, freedom dies.

And Sheila Musaji of The American Muslim expresses her surprise that halal turkeys are apparently so freely available, having struggled to find them in previous years – and invites Geller to come and share a kosher turkey with her and her family this Thanksgiving.

Those halal turkeys must be stealthier than even Geller could imagine.

Pamela Geller Ready to Start Holy War Over Mistranslated Bumper Sticker

Posted in Feature, Loon-at-large with tags , , , , , , , , on August 29, 2011 by loonwatch

Pamela Geller of Atlas Shrugs recently published an alarmist, fear-mongering article about some bumper sticker on a Honda Accord:

ON THE ROAD: “VICTORY FROM ALLAH, AND INVASION SOON”

This just came in from “infidel” in Maine:

I saw this car in Portland yesterday August 24th, 2011.  I had to take a picture of this bumper sticker to share.  The translation on the sticker says “Help from Allah and present victory”

In Arabic it says “Victory from Allah, and invasion soon”  The word “FATTEH = Invasion” was used back in Muhammad’s days when he went from country to country killing people who don’t submit to Shariah.  After they were done, they would celebrate for the “FATTEH” of this country.

This bumper sticker was made for the USA, and was translated so it would sound good to the non-Arabic seaking American…

The car was driven by a burka.

First things first: I did not know “burka’s” could drive.

In any case, this is a mistranslation.  The bumper sticker reads nasr min Allah wa fatah qareeb, which translates to “Help and victory from God is near.” [Nasr = help, min Allah = from God, wa = and, fatah = victory, qareeb = near; so technically, it translates to “Help from Allah and victory is near” although I think my rendering flows a bit better.]

To say that it means “victory from Allah, and invasion soon” is purposefully misleading, blatantly incorrect, and obviously deceitful.

The bumper sticker is actually a verse from the Quran, namely verse 61:13:

Help and victory from God is near.  Give glad tidings to the faithful. (Quran, 61:13)

Interestingly enough, the very next verse gives the example of Jesus’ disciples:

O you who believe, be God’s helpers.  As Jesus, son of Mary, said to the disciples, ‘Who will come with me to help God?’ The disciples said, ‘We shall be God’s helpers.’ Some of the Children of Israel believed and some disbelieved: We supported the believers against their enemy and they were the ones who came out on top. (Quran, 61:14)

It is true that when this chapter of the Quran was revealed, it was in the context of war: the early Muslims were being persecuted for their faith and they were fighting a much stronger foe.  To boost their morale, the Quran reassured them: “Help and victory from God is near.”

Today, those words are used by Muslims whenever they face adversity, not just in the war context.  Certainly Jews and Christians shouldn’t make too much of a fuss about this, since they themselves do the same with Biblical passages.  For example, Psalm 3:8 from the Bible is often invoked by Jews and Christians:

Psalm 3:8 Victory comes from you, O Lord. May you bless your people.

This verse is contained in a “psalm of David”–a war poem.  David beseeches God for help against his enemies, saying:

Psalm 3:7 Arise, O LORD! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.

This was revealed during David’s wars of conquest, in which he committed acts of ethnic cleansing and even genocide, which I’ve documented here.  Indeed, God grants “victory” to David, who subsequently “did not leave a man or woman alive” (I Sam. 18:11).

Yet, today Psalm 3:8–”Victory comes from you, O Lord”–is routinely invoked by Jews and Christians.  For example, this marketing website invokes the verse to say that God grants victory/success in one’s business adventures.  Does anyone think that the website is calling for the impending genocide against infidels?

There are several other Biblical verses in a similar vein, which were initially revealed in a war context (actually, in support of ethnic cleansing and genocide), but which are now used routinely by Jews and Christians for the every day struggles of life.  For example:

Deuteronomy 20:4 For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory!

This verse was said to be revealed to Moses before he conquered the Canaanites and then killed them all, in what can only be called genocide (which I documented here).  Yet, here we have a Christian using this same verse on a cutesy-looking card:


(link)

Should we sound the alarm?  Is this card a Christian-supremacist genocide card?

Or how about this:

Joshua 10:8 “Do not be afraid of them,” the Lord said to Joshua, “for I have given you victory over them.  Not a single one of them will be able to stand up to you.”

In spite of the fact that this verse references genocide (“not a single one of them will be able to stand up to you”)–refer to my earlier article for Joshua’s genocides–this verse is routinely used by Christians today.  Indeed, this website here uses the verse in an article about how to overcome your fears.

Similarly, the Quranic phrase “help and victory from God is near” is routinely used by Muslims whenever they find themselves in times of difficulty.  It is meant to reassure them that soon God will answer their prayers and grant them relief from hardship.

To immediately assume that the bumper sticker is a call for the invasion of America and the subjugation of infidels is truly ludicrous.   In any case, don’t you think the burka who that drove the car would want to keep the impending overthrow of America hush-hush instead of advertising it on her its car?

*   *  *  *  *

But what if some nutty Muslim somewhere decided to put up a crazy bumper sticker, so what?  Have you seen the crazy bumper stickers some Evangelical Christians put on their cars?  In fact, they actively sell them on “respectable” sites.

If you’re up in arms over the vaguely worded Quranic verse bumper sticker above, then what about the bumper stickers below which I found after just two minutes of searching on Google?

Bumper Sticker Calling for Shariah Biblical Law and the Killing of Gays:

 

(link)

Rule America With the Quran Bible:


(link)

America is a Christian Country:

(link)

America is a Christian Nation:

(link)

Hatred Against Christians Muslims:

(link)

BOMB MECCA and THE ONLY GOOD ARAB IS A DEAD ARAB, etc. etc.:

(link)

Surely Pamela Geller should be more worried about this guy, right?  Isn’t “nuking Mecca” the same or worse than “conquest?”

NUKE IRAN:

(link)

You can find many, many “nuke Iran” bumper stickers.  Nothing wrong with that, right?

Bring Back the Crusades–You Know, the Holy War and Conquest of the Lands of Islam:

(link)

 

Another Crusades Decal:

(link)

Christian Jihad:

(link)

 

It’s Time to Play Cowboys And Muslims:

 

(link)

I could go on and on and on…

In fact, I’d be willing to bet that I could find 100 times as many bigoted uber-Christian, anti-Muslim bumper stickers than the other way around.  Pamela Geller found one–which she had to mistranslate to make her point–and she’s making such a big fuss about it.

That’s the thing with these Islamophobes: they live off of profound double-standards.  Who cares that I’ve just shown her bumper stickers from right-wing Christians that call for Sharia Biblical theocracy, holy war against the infidel, and nuclear holocaust.  Don’t you see that one bumper sticker on that one Honda Civic which, if you mistranslate it and look at it in one particular angle with just the right lighting, that might somehow (maybe?) call for something or the other Islamist-related?

Do you know how many crazy people there are out there in the world?  In our very own country no less?  Has Pamela Geller ever seen a campus rally during her college years?  She would have seen all sorts of crazy signs there: people holding the most absurdest of signs, from warnings of CIA microchips implanted in our brains to your garden-variety God Hates Fags signs…

If we condemned all religions for the sign or bumper sticker one crazy person from that faith used, every religion–including Christianity–would stand condemned.  But for Geller et al. Muslims are held to a very special standard.  She wants to single them out and demonize them.  Her message is very clear:

Be very afraid of the Moozlums!  They are coming to get you!  Kill them before they kill you!

Pamela Geller’s Hate Group Releases McCarthy List

Posted in Loon-at-large with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2011 by loonwatch
Image taken from pavlovianobeisance.com

We don’t really need to give much commentary with this one (it speaks for itself), so here it is (hat tip NassirH):

The AFDI Threats to Freedom Index

by Pamela Geller

My colleague Robert Spencer and I compiled the list from records of Threat to Freedom group statements and activities as they appear in their own publications and websites, as well as from reports from concerned citizens and mainstream media reports.

Threat to Freedom group activities can include misrepresentation of anti-terror and other law enforcement initiatives, attempts to restrict the freedom of speech regarding Islamic jihad or other threats to freedom, defamation of freedom fighters, disinformation campaigns in the mainstream media regarding attempts by the U.S. and Israel to defend themselves, and more.

Listing as a Threat to Freedom group does not in itself imply that a listed group calls for or participates in violence or criminal activities, although it does not rule out their doing so.

Here are the first groups listed on our AFDI Threats to Freedom Index. There is more detail in my book Stop the Islamization of America: A Practical Guide to the Resistance.

Al-Awda, The Palestine Right to Return Coalition retails jihadist propaganda against Israel, distorting the facts of the conflict and attempting to delegitimize Israel’s right to exist.

Code Pink: Far-Left organization aligned with Communists and Islamic jihadists, masquerading as a “peace” organization dedicated to stopping what it characterizes as unjust wars.

Cordoba Initiative: Stealth jihad organization aligned with anti-Israel jihad organizations and dedicated to building the triumphal Islamic supremacist mosque at Ground Zero.

Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR): Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas-linked organization spreading disinformation about Islam and terror, opposing anti-terror activity, and defaming freedom fighters. CAIR was one of the many Islamic groups that was named an unindicted coconspirator in the Holy Land Foundation Hamas jihad funding trial.

Friends of Sabeel-North America (FOSNA): Palestinian Christians aiding the jihad against Israel and retailing jihadist propaganda against the Jewish state.

If Americans Knew (IAK) spreads disinformation about the Palestinian jihad against Israel and Israel’s efforts to defend itself.

International ANSWER: a far-Left organization that opposes U.S. attempts to defend itself from jihad aggression.

International Institute of Islamic Thought (IIIT): Muslim Brotherhood organization with numerous documented links to Saudi Wahhabi organizations and jihad terror activity.

International Solidarity Movement enlists Leftist Americans to aid the Palestinian jihad against Israel and impede the defensive actions of the Israeli Defense Force (IDF).

Islamic Circle of North America: Muslim Brotherhood organization preaching a global Caliphate and Islamic law (Sharia) over the U.S. ISNA was another Islamic group that was named an unindicted coconspirator in the Holy Land Foundation Hamas jihad funding trial.

Islamic Society of North America: Muslim Brotherhood organization named an unindicted co-conspirator in a Hamas jihad terror funding case.

Muslim American Society: chief arm of the Muslim Brotherhood in the U.S., which is dedicated in its own words to “eliminating and destroying Western civilization from within.”

Muslim Public Affairs Council: Muslim Brotherhood-linked organization that has spread disinformation about the extent of Muslim cooperation with anti-terror efforts, and has encouraged Muslims not to cooperate with law enforcement.

Muslim Students Association: Muslim Brotherhood organization creating an atmosphere of intimidation for Jewish students on campuses nationwide, and bringing in speakers who preach jihad and hatred.

The New Black Panther Party (NBPP): a black militant group that relentlessly promotes violence against white people, and Jews in particular.

North American Islamic Trust (NAIT): Muslim Brotherhood organization and subsidiary of the ISNA, holder of titles of hundreds of Islamic properties in the U.S. It funds mosques and Islamic schools nationwide, and safeguards and pools the assets of the Muslim community in America. In doing so, NAIT promotes the concept of waqf, the eternal Islamic ownership of land—which is certain to cause trouble in the United States in the future. It also is tied to Saudi Wahhabi groups that are aggressively pushing, all over the world, the most virulent, violent form of Islam on the planet.

Organization of Islamic Cooperation: International organization dedicated to destroying free speech about Islam and jihad in America and Europe. The great historian Bat Ye’or explains that the OIC is “close to the Muslim World League of the Muslim Brotherhood,” and that “it shares the Brotherhood’s strategic and cultural vision: that of a universal religious community, the Ummah, based upon the Koran, the Sunna, and the canonical orthodoxy of shari’a.”

Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding: Saudi-funded center at Georgetown University spreading disinformation about Islam and jihad. It underwrites material by the deceptive pro-Sharia academic John Esposito, such as the 2011 book Islamophobia: The Challenge of Pluralism in the 21st Century, a book-length barrage of Muslim victimhood propaganda, designed to deflect attention away from Islamic jihad activity and Islamic supremacism.

George Soros: The only individual to make the “Threats to Freedom” list, Soros is, according to Discover the Networks, “one of the most powerful men on earth,” with personal assets of an estimated $13 billion. Soros’ Open Society Institute (OSI) donates millions of dollars to far-Left, pro-Sharia, anti-freedom groups.

Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) defames and attempts to marginalize conservative, pro-freedom organizations as “hate groups.” It uses its listing of “hate groups” to try to stigmatize, and ultimately criminalize, love of country and patriotism. It works to systematically destroy voices that are speaking out against oppression and persecution.

Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) spreads jihadist propaganda and disinformation about Israeli self-defense on U.S. university campuses.

Aside from a couple outliers, all of those listed fall into one of the following groups: human and civil rights groups, anti-war groups (including a feminist group), interfaith groups, hate watch groups, a few Muslim-American organizations, and poor George Soros.  Unfortunately, we didn’t make the list (perhaps next year?), but Geller did accuse us of being funded by George Soros, so maybe that counts somewhat?  What do we need to up our game to make the list?